


If I Die Young

by Gozzer



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Death, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, F/M, Gen, Ghosts, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt, Hurt Diego Hargreeves, Hurt No Comfort, Mentioned Ben Hargreeves, Murder, Soft Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozzer/pseuds/Gozzer
Summary: Diego didn't expect it happen, or at least not for some time. But life moves on. And maybe he should move on with it.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & The Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	If I Die Young

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Bite the Bullet, it is so freaking good! You should all go and read it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/25551721/chapters/62002123
> 
> And Diego is probably a bit OOC, apologies.

Diego Hargreeves was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. He knew that getting into a fight - even if that rapist piece of shit deserved it - would get him expelled from the police academy. Not even a year in, god he wanted to prove to Dad that he was something but that wasn't going to happen. Not ever likely, not now. 

Eudora was just trying to cheer him up, he knew that. He had been moping around his dorm for the last hour packing his shit up to move in with her. She had this cute little apartment a few blocks from the academy that her roommate was helping pay for. They were welcoming him with open arms, probably only because he and Eudora were dating. She was even helping him pack. It was cute and nice and he wouldn't admit it to her yet, but he loved her. Would always love her actually. 

The apartment was small but he didn't have a lot of stuff anyway. All of it fit in two boxes and a bag. They put it all in a corner of her room and went to sit on the couch with the wine they convinced her mom to buy for them. Being only twenty was a bust. He still had eight months until his twenty-first birthday while she only had two. At first it was weird knowing she was older than him but he got over it. But if they could've bought their own alcohol, they would probably be plastered. He would have for sure. Though the wine was nice and gave him a bit of a buzz. Enough to not think straight about what he was doing. 

It was late, nearly three in the morning, and he knew he probably shouldn't go out. But Eudora wanted tacos and then he wanted tacos, and he just decided to go get some. It wasn't that far. A little joint that was open twenty-four hours. They had been going there since they met and it was normally well past normal hours. He didn't even make it to the right block before he got distracted. 

There was a noise coming from an alley. Not loud at first then someone was crying out for help. He didn't even think before he was running for the entrance. In the gloom he could just make out three people. Two men and a woman being held against the wall between them. God, he should've brought something with him, he knew. But he didn't and he had always been a hero. 

He called out to them, demanding to know what was going on and why. The men turned on him and it was enough of a distraction for the girl to go running down the alley towards him. She didn't even say anything as she ran past, and he didn't blame her. His interruption made them angry, pissed off. He should've seen it coming, honestly. The aggressive stances, the twitchy fingers, where they were; but he had been so stupid for once in his life. He was going to just turn around and put a call in to the police to collect the two men but he never got the chance. It was loud for a moment and odd. 

Then Diego blinked and he was suddenly sitting in the back of a car. He wasn't tipsy anymore, there was no fuzzy feeling in his head or warmth in his stomach from the wine. It was cold. The two men from the alley were in the front seats of the car and arguing about something. But Diego couldn't focus. Something was wrong. He knew it, what happened in the alley? There was a noise, a loud one. One he'd heard before, one that he recognized but couldn't place at the moment. His thoughts were all over the place. 

"Whadda we do, man? I-I can't go to jail! I got a family!" Diego shook his head and tried to focus. He should say something, anything, but he couldn't get his mouth to work. With a hand he reached up to touch his throat to feel if something was wrong. It was sticky. Pulling his hand back he stared at the blood coating them. Dark viscous blood covered his fingers. His blood, from his throat. 

"Shut up! We're not going to jail! We just have to dump his body and we'll be fine." The driver, Diego tore his eyes away from his fingers to the man driving. They had done something to him. 

_ "What did you do?" _ He tried to ask but nothing left his mouth. There was no vibration of his vocal chords, no words, no sound.  _ "Hey, assholes! What the hell happened?" _ It was no use. There was nothing. 

"I know this place, outside of the city. Nobody goes there, they won't find him. It'll be fine." Diego leaned forward to snarl in the face of the driver to see if he could get a reaction from him. Nothing, his eyes remained on the dark road. 

Several hours of driving, Diego was sure of it. Eudora would know something was wrong by now, he never came home. She would figure it out, she had too. He couldn't just go missing. These guys wouldn't get away with whatever they had done. They had…they had. God, he couldn't even think the word. But he knew. The blood, the cold, his lack of voice, their twitchy nature, the dark woods they were pulling into. Diego slid out of the car after them and tried not to think about how he went through the door. They opened the trunk and he wanted to puke. That was him alright. Still in his faded jeans, black T-shirt, and old leather jacket. There was blood all down his front from the gunshot wound in his throat. It was a disgusting sight. It was sad. He didn't want to go out this way, in a back alley from a couple of thugs. 

The men pulled his body out like it was nothing and just set him on the ground. They were standing on a hill with thick trees around them, and Diego knew no one was going to find him. He didn't even know where they were. It made him want to cry, actually, for the first time in years. The anger would come later, he knew that, but at the moment he just wanted to breakdown. There was so much he hadn't gotten to do, so many things he hadn't said. And Eudora, god, he loved her. He'd never get to say it to her, she would never know just how much she had brightened his life. A year, they had only known each other a year. And he wasn't a sentimental person or overly open with his emotions, but he would've been for her. He'd have done anything for her. 

The second his body disappeared into the brush the men moved to get back in the car. Diego knew he was crying but he fell into the backseat just to get a ride back into the city; he wasn't going to hang around a forest. He wanted to hit something but he knew his fist would go right through it. It didn't stop him from taking a swipe at each of the men though. They deserved to rot in a forest like they were leaving him to. They stole away his life. It hardly had a chance to start and now it was gone. No one would know what happened, not Eudora, not his siblings, not Mom, not Pogo, not even Dad. Hell, he couldn't even talk. If he wanted to go to Klaus nothing would come of it. 

The sun was high in the sky by the time the men got back into the city. Diego got out of the car the second it stopped at a traffic light. He couldn't stand to be around them for another minute. They were acting like nothing was wrong. Like they hadn't just murdered him and left his body to rot. He kicked their car a few times even though his foot went through the tire. Then he moved on. There was nothing he could do about it despite his want to. What good was a ghost? 

The city moved on through the day like nothing was amiss. He didn't expect it to change. He was merely a piece of a well oiled machine. Eventually he made his way back to Eudora's apartment and found it empty. She was likely at class or the police station filing a missing person's report on him. Diego didn't know what to do so he just sat down on the couch to wait. What could he do? He was…he was gone. There was nothing left for him to do. God, didn't that hurt. He always wanted to be of use, do something good with his life, but this is what he got. 

He shouldn't have been so stupid. 

  
  


The thing was, he couldn't quite tell when time was passing. It no longer applied to him. He didn't know how long he stayed with Eudora and her roommate. They used to talk about him, about what happened, where he might have gone. But that conversation slowly disappeared. Diego got to see Eudora graduate, so he guessed it had been a few years. It didn't seem like it. In a blink months had passed and he didn't notice. At first he was angry and upset and depressed was a good word for it. He had punched through walls and kicked furniture since his voice never came back. There was no way for him to voice his displeasure so he lashed out at everything else. Nothing ever happened. Eudora never noticed. 

If Diego had to guess around five years had passed. Just one moment he was waiting for Eudora to get back from class and the next he was seeing Allison on the Tv talking about her daughter. Claire. She was just born apparently. It didn't take a lot to convince himself to go to LA. There wasn't much left for him in New York, he had visited Vanya and Luther and even Klaus. He visited the Academy and Mom and Pogo. The only one he hadn't seen was Allison. 

Being dead put a few things into perspective. He knew their father had fucked them over in the development department of their lives. They were a trauma group. He could see how messed up everything had been now that he was no longer living it. It was…it was rough. He felt bad for his siblings, knowing they still had to live and grow from it. He didn't. There was nothing for him to get upset about anymore, unless it was for his siblings he didn't care. Dad couldn't bother him anymore. It was freeing actually, not having to fight the shadow their father cast. But that didn't mean he couldn't watch out for the others. 

The hitchhike to LA didn't take that long. One or two car jumps and he was soon wandering the lively streets looking for Allison's house. A few overly friendly ghosts pointed him in the right direction, though he didn't know how they knew. It didn't quite bother him. Other ghosts just knew things sometimes about each other. It was helpful advice either way. Allison lived in a nice gated neighborhood with a big house and her husband and daughter. Claire was already a year old. It took him longer than he thought to get there. 

There was something off about Claire. Diego would pretend to talk to her and make faces and she would react like she could see him. She would giggle and smile and clap and point in his direction. It caught Patrick's attention first but he waved it off. Diego didn't mind, he couldn't do anything if he did anyway. When Claire turned two she got an alphabet keyboard. The first thing she did with it when they were alone was ask who he was. She was such a smart girl. He just smiled and pointed out the letters of his name; Uncle Diego really, she wouldn't know the difference. It was nice, she used it to talk to him. Like he was a friend and someone she wanted to play with. It made him smile. 

"Claire, hunny, what're you doing in here by yourself?" Diego looked up from the coloring book Claire was showing him to find Allison standing in the doorway. She looked good, the blonde ombre hair was a nice look. He couldn't remember when the look started but it might've been a while with how long her hair had grown. 

"I'm playing." Claire sat up on her knees and turned to face her mother. She had gotten so big. Diego didn't know how old she was now but he knew he had been with them for a couple years at least. It was a lot nicer than New York actually. When Allison left for movies he would stay around the house with Claire and Patrick; even when they left he stayed. Where else was he going to go? "We're having fun, mommy!"

"We?" Allison got a concerned look on her face and stepped into the room. She crouched down next to Claire to look at the coloring book. It was a picture of a kitten with too big eyes and a bow. "Who're you playing with?"

"Uncle Diego. He picked out the colors for the picture. See?" The book was turned to show where Claire had made checkmarks of each color he had pointed at. She had wanted him to color with her but he couldn't hold a crayon. "He doesn't talk much, not like in the stories you tell."

"Uncle Diego?" Allison's eyes turned to where Diego was sitting across from Claire but he knew she couldn't see him. "And what does he look like?" 

"Oh, he's dirty. He's got pants on like Daddy wears and a shirt and jacket. His hair is short." Claire reached out to touch his face but her fingers went through his cheek. She giggled and he made a show of rolling his eyes. "There's a spot on his neck." Little hands went to her own throat to poke at where he was shot. Straight through the windpipe and arteries and out the back of his neck. He could probably stick a finger through it if he wanted. "It's why he doesn't talk."

"Oh. Uh, well, tell him I said hi and that it's nice to see him." There was something in Allison's expression that made him want to sigh. She was going to try and find him. He gave her a wave for Claire's sake before getting to his feet with Allison. "I'll be right back, hunny. I have to make a few calls."

"Okay, Uncle Dee is going with you. He'll keep you safe." Claire turned back to her coloring like nothing was wrong. It made Diego smile but Allison frown. 

They went down the hall and the stairs until they reached the landline. Diego leaned on the wall next to her to hear both sides of the conversation with whoever she was calling. Probably Dad first then their siblings to find if they knew anything. Then the police station. There were only so many places she would call actually. It's not like she knew about Eudora. 

_ "Yes, what is it?" _ That was Dad alright. Still as stern as ever. 

"Dad?" 

_ "Number Three, what is the meaning of this?" _

"I-I wanted to know if you or Mom or Pogo have heard from Diego. It's been a while." Diego cringed, this was awkward. Nobody just called Dad. It didn't happen. 

_ "No, Number Two has not been in contact." _ Dad almost sounded upset. Almost. 

"Oh. Do you know where he might be?" Allison asked, knowing this was weird. Or at least Diego hoped she knew, it was really weird. 

_ "No." _ Diego snorted and the call ended soon after that. Dad was a bust, but everybody else was going to be the same. Allison tried Vanya but got the same response, she didn't know. Luther was on the moon, so he obviously didn't know and Klaus didn't have a phone to call. The next call went to the police station like he had guessed. And no surprise they didn't know. There was just an open missing person's case on him with no leads. It wasn't a surprise, there was nothing to go off of. He went out late a little tipsy to get tacos and never came home. Some dumb college student that probably hopped on a bus to skip town after getting expelled from school. It wasn't unheard of. 

Allison hung up the phone and looked ready to cry. Diego wanted to comfort her but there was nothing he could do. It was a difficult situation, he knew he'd seen how Eudora reacted and how she had moved on. Difficult yes, but not impossible. She would get over it, they all would when they learned the truth. It's not like they would've cared much anyway; they weren't a close family. 

It was time to move on. Diego 'said' his goodbyes to Claire before leaving the house. She was getting a little old to have an 'imaginary' friend so he couldn't stick around. It made her sad but she would forget about him eventually. He got a ride back to New York and went back to wandering the city. Eudora was doing great as a detective and he couldn't have been more proud. Vanya was teaching violin lessons and performing in an orchestra; she had always been good. Klaus was, well Klaus, and Diego wasn't surprised. At the Academy things were much the same. Dad still worked in his office, Mom did the cleaning, and Pogo did whatever he did. It was refreshing to know some things didn't change. 

Diego caught up on Vanya's book, and he was angry to say the least. For a while he wanted nothing more than to punch her. He didn't know how she could just say all of those things like there was nothing wrong with it. But he got over it. It had been her life and none of them bothered to wonder what it was like for her; growing up without powers. Not to say he still wasn't a bit upset but he was no longer angry with her. He almost understood. It must have been hard for her, being excluded even though it was nothing to be envious of. She didn't know what it really was like having their father's attention. And he couldn't blame her for that. What he could blame her for was how she portrayed a few things about each of them. 

He hadn't been at the Academy when Dad kicked the bucket. A news report was playing on a Tv when he passed and guessed that was how most of the others figured out. It wasn't sad, he didn't really feel anything about it. But he still knew he had to make an appearance. Not that anyone but Klaus could see him, if he was sober enough. 

When he got the Academy he knew some hours had passed, possibly a day or two. The rest of his living siblings were already gathered in the library and in the middle of a discussion. Diego moved to sit on the chair near the fire to listen to them. He knew it was a long shot for Klaus to see him when his brother barely twitched at his appearance. It wasn't a surprise. Luther was up and talking about Dad's death and how it was weird. 

"Where are you going with this?" Klaus asked, a glass of something swirling in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Diego rolled his eyes, wasn't it obvious? Luther thought one of them killed Dad. 

"He thinks one of us killed Dad," Allison said. She seemed rather subdued compared to how he had last seen her. 

"That's not what I'm saying. Not you specifically, just that something happened." Luther tried to amend his words but that had never worked in the past. 

"Not us? Who else is there? Diego?" Vanya looked upset at the mere thought. "He wouldn't do something like that." Well, he had thought about a few times. But no, he'd never actually kill the old bastard. 

"You…you guys don't know?" Everyone looked over to Allison. Diego could spy a wet sheen to her eyes and it hurt to see. They weren't ever close but they had been siblings. 

"Know? Know what?" Luther asked, seemingly as confused at the other two. Allison took a sip of her drink and Diego could see how her hands were trembling. Was his loss hitting her that hard? 

"Diego…he…" She sighed and shook her head. "He went missing nine years ago." 

The silence in the room was thick. Diego tapped a foot on the ground and surveyed his siblings. He knew Allison was upset and close to tears. Vanya looked to be nearing the same territory and Klaus had a frown of confusion on his face. Luther, well, he was watching Allison like she knew the answers to where he was. Which, no one did. Not even himself. Diego had no idea where his body was other than the fact that it was in a forest. 

"What? How do you know?" Vanya rubbed her eyes and Diego sighed. He didn't think they'd take it this hard. 

"I think it's more than him being missing." Allison finished off her drink and just stared down into the empty glass like it had all the answers. "A couple years ago, when Claire was almost three, I found her playing in her room by herself." Diego could see how their siblings were still confused and ready to interrupt her. "When I asked what she was doing, she said she was playing with Uncle Diego. That he was helping her color."

"What're you saying? That…that Diego's dead? And Claire can see ghosts like Klaus?" Luther didn't look convinced. Diego couldn't blame him, it was a bit crazy. 

"She told me what he looked like. It was Diego. Down to the same scar on his right cheek. There was something else though." Allison looked up at them and Diego could see the shine of tear tracks on her cheeks. "Claire said he couldn't talk and that he had a spot on his throat. At first I thought she meant a scar. But then I asked her to draw what she was seeing a little later. And it wasn't a pretty picture. The amount of blood she had drawn…I-I." She was crying now. Diego got up and went to put a hand on her shoulder. It went right through like he knew it would. 

"Klaus, if he's really dead then you can see his ghost. Sober up." Dad's funeral was apparently forgotten about in favor of figuring out if he was dead. Diego didn't know they cared that much. He figured there would be a couple tears then they'd move on with their lives. 

"I'll try." Klaus set his drink down and put out his cigarette. He got to his feet while shaking out his arms and Diego moved to stand in front of him. Maybe it was easier if he was closer, and willing. "Okay, okay, come on, Diego. If you're really dead you'd show yourself, right? You wouldn't leave us hanging in suspense."

He might have actually, but not this time. Klaus shook out his hands again and closed his eyes. There was a shift in the air around him and Diego wanted to grin. He knew his brother had it in him. Green eyes flew open to meet his. A gasp left Klaus' mouth and he brought both hands up to cover it. His eyes roamed Diego's appearance, taking in everything with denial and tears. A hand left his mouth to reach out and Diego took a step back. It would only make it worse. Not being to offer comfort when it was so clear he needed it. 

"Diego…" Klaus stumbled back into the couch and sunk down on the edge. The others were watching him and moving to glance at where Klaus kept staring. "What- How- Why didn't you? No…Diego…"

"You can see him? He really is dead?" Luther didn't wait for confirmation to copy Klaus in sitting down. 

"How is…Is he alright?" Vanya asked while putting a hand on Klaus's bare knee. Diego gave her a small nod, yeah he was fine. "Klaus?"

"Diego, can you…?" Klaus made a motion to his own throat. Diego shook his head; he hasn't said a word in nine years. "Is it the? The…" With a little eye roll, Diego mimed shooting a gun and shook his head 'no'. "Someone shot you? Like…like actually shot you? Christ, Diego!" Klaus hopped to his feet and walked towards him. He stopped just before Diego and they stood staring at each other. "You look so young. Did we all look that young? How old are you?"

Diego glanced at the others and could see that his sisters were crying. Even Luther was looking misty eyed. He met Klaus' eyes and held up both hands. One had two fingers up and the other made a circle. It took a moment for Klaus to understand but when he did he started crying too. 

"Twenty? You were so young." Klaus lifted a hand to touch Diego's face. It went through much Claire's had done. "Where are you? What happened? Who did this?" Diego raised an eyebrow and motioned to his throat, he couldn't talk. "You have to try! It might be different with me! I can see and hear ghosts, it's my power. And you're a ghost!"

_ "Calm down, asshole." _ Diego couldn't tell if any sound came out but by Klaus' step back he had heard.  _ "Oh, so you can hear me. Good, we might get some shit done now." _ It had been so long since he'd had a real conversation. There was only so much he could convey to Claire. 

"Told you so." Diego rolled his eyes at Klaus before moving to sit back in his chair. "Now, answers. We want them, brother of ours."

_ "There's not much I know." _ He leaned back in the chair and spread his arms behind his head.  _ "I got kicked out of the police academy, was in the process of moving in with my girlfriend" _

"You're straight? I feel like you're keeping secrets." Diego knew not to take anything Klaus said literally or personally. 

"Now is not the time, Klaus," Allison said. 

_ "I mean, I've got time." _ Klaus did his little giggle that bordered on hysterical most times.  _ "No, I'm not straight but it's not like it matters now." _

"Well, do carry on then." Klaus leaned back on the couch and Diego knew he was trying to distract himself. 

_ "Like I said, moving in with Eudora. We got a little drunk and she wanted food. I went out to get her some tacos from a place we always went when I heard something down an alley." _ At Klaus' disapproving stare, Diego glared at him.  _ "Turns out two guys were pressuring a girl into something. I caused a distraction for her to get away and in the time I looked back to them I was dead. They shot me and stuffed my body in the trunk of their car. I came to in the back seat. I don't know where they took me, outside of the city and into the woods somewhere. They just pulled my body out of the trunk, set it on the ground, and pushed it down the hill. And that was the end of it." _ He had gotten over it awhile ago actually. 

"Jesus." Klaus put his head in hands before relaying what Diego had said. The other three had similar reactions of grief and anger. It was a tragedy but Diego didn't know how to feel about it after so many years. It was just his way of things now. 

"We have to find him," Vanya said. Her voice was thick with tears and Diego got up. He moved towards her and crouched down in front of her. His hands hovered over her knees but he knew he couldn't touch her. They had never been close but he could only see her as the youngest despite knowing they were the same age. She just had the air about her. And he felt so much closer to his sisters now then he used to be. To all of his siblings, but he knew it was all of the time he had spent watching out for them. 

_ "You won't find me. Not with how long as passed and the animals in the forest. There's probably nothing left of my body." _ Klaus translated what he said and where he was at the moment. Vanya looked down to meet his eyes even though he knew she couldn't see him.  _ "I'm okay with that, have been for years now. I'm not asking you to move on but don't let my death hold you guys back. It's been nine years already, what's the rest of your lives?" _

"Diego, if we had known…" Luther started but his voice trailed off. There was nothing they could've done. 

_ "You didn't. And that's fine." _ Diego patted Vanya's knee and watched her shiver when his hand went through her knee. It made her start crying again. He got to his feet and turned to Luther.  _ "You all had lives to live. I kept track of you all, to make sure nothing happened. I'm sorry about what happened, Luther, I was around when they brought you back." _ Klaus relayed his words and Luther looked ready to cry again. It made Diego's nonexistent heart ache. His brother had had to be the strong one in their family, had been the strong one when they needed him. 

_ "Allison," _ Diego took a few steps towards his other sister,  _ "thank you." _ He copied his position like he had with Vanya, even put his hands on her knees. Allison lifted a hand to try and touch him, it went through his chest and he laughed.  _ "The last four years with you and your daughter were amazing. Claire is gonna be perfect when she grows up. Tell her Uncle Dee loves her, okay? And to never color another cat purple, that last picture we did was not pretty." _ When his words left Klaus' mouth Allison laughed until she started crying again. Diego got to his feet with a sad smile before moving for Klaus. 

"Oh, no, I don't need a pep talk. I know what you're gonna say." Klaus shook his head and leaned back on the couch. Diego sat down next to him and held out his hand for Klaus'. He knew better than to touch his brother without permission. "Oh alright, since you asked so nicely." A hand was lifted to hover over his. 

_ "I'm not gonna give you a lecture. I'm sure Ben gives you enough of them." _ Klaus laughed and nodded.  _ "But I do want you to take better care of yourself. No more stints in motels with shady guys that don't know the word 'no'. You might play it off but I know it hurts." _ Tears gathered in Klaus' eyes and he looked away from Diego.  _ "I love you, Klaus, we all do. They don't want to have to bury another brother. Losing three is more than enough, don't make it four, please. I don't want to see you up there for another thirty years." _

"Wait, Diego, wait. What're you talking about? See me where? Where're you going?" Klaus took his hand back and wiped a wrist over his eyes. Diego gave him a little smile. 

_ "I only stuck around this long for all of you to learn the truth." _ He got to his feet and stuffed his hands into his jean pockets.  _ "Tell Mom I love her. And find Eudora, she works at the police station. Explain what happened to me, and…tell her I never stopped loving her."  _

"Wait! Diego, please, you can stay here with us. With me and Ben." Klaus was on his feet and in front of Diego. "Please, we just got you back."

"Klaus…" The rest of their siblings were on their feet and joining the circle. Vanya put a hand on Klaus' arm. "It's time to let him go."

"It's his choice," Luther said. 

"We love you too Diego. And I'll tell Claire when I see her next." Allison let her hand hover over Diego's shoulder like she knew exactly where he was, but then dropped it. 

_ "I love you guys." _ Diego gave them one last smile before finally embracing the light that had been trying to get to him for the last nine years. His time in the world of the living had past and he was finally ready to accept that. 


End file.
